#Success

The influencers think it's about the G-Wagon and the Lambo. They're not quite right.

It was a very important Wednesday. I was pitching the CEO, CFO and five analysts of a multi-billion-dollar company. The company I was working for sold software to help with challenges they were facing. I was the only one from our company on the call, so it was up to me. We ended the hour with their signature on a contract for $45,000.

That was two years ago. 

This Wednesday I had a different kind of day. I worked on slides for a strategy course I’m making. I helped get the kids out the door for school and spent an hour at the gym. I stopped by the library and got each of the kids new books. I went grocery shopping. After lunch I got a call from daycare to pick up Lucy, who had a little fever. I spent the afternoon with her making dinner before the rest of the kids came home. 

This Wednesday.

Of these two Wednesdays, which one was more successful?

A question, that begets another question. What makes a person successful?

We often think of success as defined by tangibles. #Success is full of material things. Culturally we’re steeped in that definition. Just look at Instagram for a minute and you’ll see all the trappings of material success: someone perching next to a Mercedes G-Wagon, taking a selfie in front of an exclusive vista or in their perfectly appointed house. An influencer might talk about “being in a room of ultra-successful entrepreneurs.” What they mean is a room of entrepreneurs who have a lot of money (or at least debt). Scroll LinkedIn and you’ll see titles galore - CEO, Director, Vice President, Founder. We vie for the title in the same way we pursue brand name schools. Thinking this way, my Wednesday two years ago was more successful than this Wednesday simply because there were more titles and dollars involved. That Zoom call was full of #success.

When we consider success in this way, it’s easy to look at others and deem ourselves unsuccessful in comparison. "They have a job and I don’t." "They makes twice as much as I do.” “Their car/house/clothes/kid’s toys are so much nicer than mine.” “They got that title because they went to a big-name school.” “I can’t compete with that.”

I have thought these things. 

But this is a false definition of success that leads to false comparisons. False comparisons quickly turn to jealousy and soon our ears are full with our own howls of complaint, causing us to miss the voice of the Father.

Instead of comparing the trappings, we should correct the premise – what is success? 

Quite simply, success is achieving an aim. It is not the aim itself. If my aim was to buy a car, I can become successful if I use a loan or if I use cash. Success is not the car, it is doing what we intended to do. You and I each have unique calls, unique aims that we ought to aspire to.

Which finally leads us to the question - What am I aiming at?

"The question isn’t whether we aim our lives. Our existence is like an arrow on a taut string: it will be sent somewhere. It’s not a matter of quelling ambition, of “settling,” as if that were somehow more virtuous (or even possible). The alternative to disordered ambition that ultimately disappoints is not some holy lethargy or pious passivity. It’s recalibrated ambition that aspires for a different end and does so for different reasons. What is the arc of a life whose aspiration is to be a friend of God?”¹

We should have this lifelong noble aim, of becoming a friend of God, of fully responding to His call. We can also have an aim for a year, a week, or a day; goals that help us toward achieving success in our lifelong aim. As the seasons of life change, these lesser aims will change.

By this measure, the honest answer for me is that both of those Wednesdays were equally successful, because on both days I achieved my aim. On that Wednesday two years ago I successful at my job of selling software. This Wednesday I was successful in doing my work and being able to change my schedule and care for my daughter. Cheers to your success.

This weekend I hope you see just a little more clearly the arc of your life as you aspire to be a friend of God. 

Much love, 

Nate

1. Smith, James K.A. On the Road with Saint Augustine: A Real-World Spirituality for Restless Hearts. Brazos Press, October 1, 2019.  Page 88 - I love this book.